A week ago a newly joined member in a forum triggered and activated my past memory, a memory that i chose to conceal as i do not want to wake up the sleeping dragon. Becoz once its awaken, i m afraid that i will never stop seeking.

I once revealed a story of mine during my younger years with a teacher of mine, it was quite detailed to the point when someone texted me & ask me am i referring to so and so. I was shocked and i removed the entire story. That time It was an emotional release for me to share those past memory where nobody knows about it.

And i know most of us find it facinating & raise our eye brow whenever we read news from overseas on how an older female teacher had sexual relation with their student.

No one actually expect this to happen in this country. You might think im so lucky to hv such experiences. Today if there is a choice i wish it did not happen.

Why? Becoz once you are hooked with this kind of domineering sex experience, u can never turn back. I had to surpress those feelings so much till I turned myself to be a giver instead of a receiver, just to stop myself from looking for such relationship & experience again. Which is nearly impossible to find.

Its a LOVE HATE emotions.i thought of venturing into giving Tantric Yoni Massage will heal me, BUT i was wrong, those feelings of wanting to be dominated came back 10x stronger everytime something triggered those past memories.

I think i just need to be honest with myself to maintain a balance of giving and truly receiving what im seeking for.

To be honest no amount of sex or lingam massage by my masseur can satisfy my inner desire.

I thank this platform to allow such emotions to pour out. Without this, i hv no idea wherelse i can honestly express myself.

I’ve kept those old writings hidden away—proof of what happened, though I’ll never share them here again.

But maybe i will just go straight to the point on the activities she did to me.

MILKING

One of it drove me crazy until this day, is the”MILKING activity” — a term created by that new member, which i think what i have experienced was just so damn similar.

(Psst.. i did some research, actually there is such thing as being milked dry. Some erotic novel already created such term)

Should i share what she did to me here?